You asked for it..

Why do I need to pay and then people still don't want to use your IDD? Why do I make myself till this level? When people not care, why should I care? Please, think rationally... On9 when other people on9 is such a bullshit thing. Will reply your email is also another bullshit. Will update you is the biggest lie where till now I don;t know a single thing about what they have done. I promised myself not to complain anymore. Or I should say I won't say much thing dy. I won't leave anything or say anything.. You want it that way And you asked for it.. And here you go.. No news from me anymore..

Stress...

I am so stressed out but I don't anyone will understand even the closest one.. What I have done is out of my willingness so I can't blame anyone. And i shouldn't be grudging for people not doing the same to me. Different people have different thinking and I am not the king of the world. I shouldn't be too demanding, to ask people to must act out what I want. Really san fu in dealing with all this.. When you are so stressed out, wanted to find someone to talk to, there's no single 1 dat is available for you.. That is so sad right? not even the closest person will do. But what to do, you can't expect people to be 24hours by your side and fulfilling all your needs and wants. I know by switching the presentation, I need to bear more bad consequences than good one, but I think it's worth it. But thinking of i'm not being treated like that, really heart broken lo. Is that really that hard? I just want to spend more time with you, but I am always behind so many things. Your activity, families, studies and even your cars. When is my turn? 2months left and after deducted from your family's time, studies, and friends', then what left for me? I really got so many things in mind. But I know I am old enough to handle things by my own...

I have 3 presentations and 6 pages of design.. And next week need to hand in 1 assignment and report earlier just because of the trip.... STRESSSSS

Questions inside me..

Recently I can't stop emo-ing... Is the old back of mine came haunting me again? Or the insecurity coming back to follow me? Or it is just because the old HIM is coming back. I always think this and that, so many questions inside me. i don't feel like seeking the answer because I don't think he will understand. I just can't understand is it so hard to say something better, is it so hard to give me more time, what so bz? Is it so hard to just reply me in faster speed. Maybe I just don't understand but you can't blame me. You are so far and the only communication tool is by sms. Call is only during cold war time.. Am I demanding too much? Is an average of 3,4 sms per day healthy for a couple that only see each other during weekend? I just don't understand.. I think part of insomnia due to this.. Shermaine Chan, can you just stop thinking of nonsense?? I'm so sorry for those who are annoyed reading my blog but I just need to find a place to burst out all my internal feelings...

Really that busy?

I can't understand why is it so hard just to send me a message to let me know.. U saw the message and miss call but not doing anything? Do you know how worried I am at that time.. Miss called for 3 different times but there's no response? Really that busy until no time for anything? Just called and say sorry then that's it? Not even sending me another message to make sure I'm ok? What is this? I really dun understand...