Bad Mooncake Festival..

What a Mooncake Festival.. A very lonely and boring one.. Looking at the playground every1 is there playing candles and tanglong which seems to familiar to me but there's no more chance for me to play.. A festive season that is suppose to be reunion season and also a day that we spend with the loved ones but I am alone at home looking at the laptop screen. I think dear sure 4gotten about this but I guess he also not so sure about this special day where he did not even celebrate it.. Besides the lonely feeling, there's so many bad news that I got, makes me having a mix feeling the whole night. Hopefully everything will goes well and I really don't want this kind of Mooncake festival anymore.. I don't care.. I shall do something next year..

Follow the Heart

Am I doing what I suppose to? I am just following my heart and I don't mean to hurt anyone. I just want to do what I can to make the relationship better. So sorry if it makes you feel bad. I can have all the blame but I know this is the right decision to make. If not, more problems and suspecting will arise. At least now I don't have to worry so much. I hope you can really understand why am I doing this..

I am not myself anymore?

I wanna be myself..

I wanna be joyful and bubbly as usual..

I wanna focus on other things too..

I don't want to hurt anyone..

I don't want to be negative and sensitive..

How come my sight is that narrow recently..

How do my heart support the rate of painfulness everyday, every minute..

I want dear to be back asap...

The starting and ending of 8th...

Is that the end already? 8th is the starting point and also the ending one? Honestly I miss him... So many flash back of the moment we had together. But what to do, I gave opportunity but he did not really say anything wanting to get back into the relationship. Although the IDD time finishes, he can still come on9. But he did not.. So he is not really so wanted to rescue our r'ship also. So, I guess that's it la.. From now on, I have to get used of removing one person out of my life and start treating all his things as normal. Start tidying up the feeling, the explanation to everyone and everything relates to this 3 years.. So many and it is getting so heavy to do all this because I still love him..

The three words...

Although you cannot be there for me when I need you, at least a show of support will work too. But unfortunately, I do not even get a word. I guess the overwhelming of activities ( farewells, earning $ and outings ) make you to be too occupied and is harder to remember my stuff. I am sad but I will try to understand. I don't want to start my emo-ness all over again. Hope you can realized yourself that you have forgotten... Whenever I listen to this song, i reminds me of the times dear sang me this.. It was super touching and funny... I really hope to listen to it again. Regret that I did not record it.. At least it can cheer me up in moments like this..